The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark, with variations.

The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his  remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for  days and days.' 'But what am I to do?' said Alice. 'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. 'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's  perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from  one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in  the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring  a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. 'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself,  as well as she could for sneezing. There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess  sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling  alternately without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen  that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on  the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. 'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was  not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why  your cat grins like that?' 'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!' She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite  jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,  and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:— 'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know  that cats COULD grin.' 'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' 'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite  pleased to have got into a conversation. 'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.' Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would  be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she  was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the  fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at  the Duchess and the baby—the fire-irons came first; then followed a  shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of  them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already,  that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. 'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in  an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually  large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. 'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse  growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it does.' 'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get  an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. 'Just think of  what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes  twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis—' 'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!' Alice glanced rather anxiously at